Dec 24, 2008

2021: How Cars lead to the Collapse of Civilization

It is the year 2021 and there are no more independent North American auto manufacturers. 

General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler have been folded into one State controlled carmaker called The Federalist Auto Union. Their zero emissions vehicles are priced well beyond the reach of the average American even with massive tax credits and federal supplements.

By manufacturing vehicles for political dignitaries and heads of state, the FAU has kept thousands of UAW manufacturing jobs on North American soil. Even though FAU employees make three times as much as their brethren in the private work force, they still can’t afford the vehicles that the company produces.

You see, the government, seeing how owning a car became a symbol of our increasing need as a nation to depend on foreign oil, passed a bill in 2015 penalizing anyone with a non-zero emissions vehicle. The only gas-powered vehicles now only exist on display at The Smithsonian in Washington D.C.

We are not alone on the world market regarding out protectionist measures to save our own home grown auto industries. France created a similar government firm out of the tattered remnants of Peugeot, Citroen and Renault/Nissan called La Société Fabrique after the Global Economic Collapse of 2012. Every nation on the planet passed legislation to constrict the manufacturing and ownership of cars as their polluting tendencies were blamed for the Global Drought of 2010. Massive vandalism, theft, and destruction of SUVs was reported.

By 2012, millions of Earth’s citizens were starving and the market for new cars collapsed. With food prices skyrocketing, the thought of owning a personal automobile also became increasingly politically incorrect. In the United States, Al Gore is named “The Car Czar.” 

People who could still afford cars and gasoline under the mounting pressure of Federal taxation soon found their vehicles being stolen for the $500 in federally granted food stamps that were given to anyone turning in a gas-powered vehicle for “recycling.” No proof of ownership was required at these automotive recycling stations so it only took about five years of severe economic depression for most every gas powered car to disappear off of American streets.

People who still work for governmentally-controlled firms like The Federal Bank and United Supermarkets barely manage to scrape by with enough money for food. Every citizen—barring our officials in Washington D.C.—must now take Public Transportation. When it is working. And the employees aren't on strike.

Our view? Okay, this isn't really an otherworldly letter from a resident of the future. It is just a work of fictional fantasy where everything that goes wrong is the fault of the automobile. As none of this is based in anything real please do realize that the mass economic hysteria plaguing this great nation is all just projections of what might happen. Kind of like what is written here. It’s time to calm down, people.

via New York Times